story.memories.life

Perfection never existed

Today's addiction: http://www.fmylife.com/
This website is filled with moments when people want to F*** their life.
There are 532 pages...I'm at the 100th page...can't help it.
It really is addictive...
#1 It even has been turned into a book!!!



Some of the moments...

#1 Today, was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML
-muggle68

#2 Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML
-amywee

#3 Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML
-WoofWoof

#4 Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML
-stalker


#5 Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML
-paula434

#6 Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
-yoyo22

#7 Today, I started feeling really sick and came home from work. My roommate, convinced I had the H1N1 flu and fully fueled by the media, locked me in my room so nothing in the house could be contaminated and went to her friend's house. I have food poisoning and I can't get to the bathroom. FML
-Anonymous

#8 Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
-Anonymous

#9 Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
-Sub(male)

#10 Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML
-DidntCheckTheCalendar

#11 Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML
-Anonymous

#12 Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML
-Anonymous

#13 Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML
-Stressmess

#14 Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
-Yoooooo0

#15 Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
-IB6UB9

#16 Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML
-Anonymous

#17 Today, I had to change clothes for a dance class. After the class I went to change back into my regular clothes I noticed my pants were missing. I had to walk across the building in my underpants so that my vice-principal could announce to the whole school that I have lost my pants. FML
-pantsless

#18 Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
-Anonymous

#19 Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
-booste

#20 Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
-BEE

#21 Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML
-kissless




Credits to my bro who found this website in www.fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com,
he doesn't hate twilight, just the movie...

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
-Charles M. Schulz

Labels: Perfection never existed

posted by xw @ 9:03 PM